"I was nauseous and tingly all over. . . . I was either in love or I had smallpox."
-Woody Allen
Yep, I've decided that I am giving up on the whole dating-thing-finding-mr-prince-charming crap...not that I was really LOOKING...but even still...I'm taking the time to get to know me....aka keeping my options open for when I am living in the land of hot boys with accents!
Ok..also, it was pointed out to me by my little sister (who, by the way, has FOUR boyfriends....) that boyfriends are dumb...
ok here goes my top ten reasons why I'm better off than 99% of my friends!
10. INSTABILITY: What, I have to ask, is so good about stability? It's about as exciting as goopy porridge. Yes, there's someone there every day. That would frighten the crap out of me. Are you here, again? Ya freak.
9. FREEDOM: It's great not having to deal with the emotional baggage. I don't have to compromise or be accountable for someone else's happiness. Now, I just have to think about me, me, me...and besides, compromising is as difficult as saying cinnamon, and I never get that right.
8. SOCIAL LIFE: Relationships always get in the way of your good friendships, so you're better off without them. Claim your life back, get out more and book a holiday. Singles are far more likely to be in the Serengeti, than in supermarket 'meal for one' section. Enjoy the freedom and make the most of it.
7.UMM VARIETY: The water's full of fit blokes
6. SPONTANEITY: Whether it's moving to Australiaa or playing crazy golf at midnight, nobody's there to tell you you're daft.
5.FREEDOM (part 2): Men take up too much valuable time. The minute that you're in a relationship, your hair looks crap, you gain a stone and your tan and nails wither under the pressure. Single people always look better because, let's face it, gorgeous men are everywhere and you need to be ready
4. NO ONE CARES: Nobody's opinion matters except yours. You can pierce your eyebrow. Get a tattoo. Not come home for days. Not leave home for days. Stir your tea with a potato peeler. Pick your nose. You may be able to find better things to do with absolute freedom, but I can't think of any
3. SHOPPING: Why have a relationship when you can have more retail therapy? Shopping and men have never mixed and it's better to purchase in peace, without a bloke whining incessantly. I certainly don't miss classics like 'We've already been in here' and 'That's it, I'm going home.' Yeah, right, see ya mate. I’ve got shoes to buy
2. THE EGO BOOST: The second that you realise you're better off single, is inevitably the moment you unwillingly become a man-magnet. They're just like buses, nothing, and then ten come at once
1. THE OBVIOUS: Boys are stupid and, really, we should just throw rocks at them...besides I hear that GENERALLY guys kinda suck in the formation area....right Rach? Spooning really should be a girls only sport.
8 comments:
do you know how freakin much i needed that blog right there and right then. check your email and you will for sure know why.
thank you.
i actually cant express my feelings for your blog slash friendship slash you, right now...........
love. spoonage and a long distance relationship.
Rach
ha ha ha thats sheer genuis, i love the photos... its sarah k by the way
it's true.
i say lets just go to hot accent land right now and intertwine.
meh.
Barb, as a single gentlemen, I would have to agree with everything you just said (except for the parts about boys being stupid.)
by the way, YOOOOOOO!!!
kaaaaaaailem....
remember me, i went in your car once to tim hortons... i think?
i told you the reason you should come to new zealand was cause its amazing.... i think,
but you were def cool, and then we had icecreams once in crofton..... wow good canadian times.
i think thats the kailem im thinking of???
it so is??
rach -
ps. caro .... totally done.
Oh Kailem...I guess you'll just have to create your OWN why being single is better from a MALE point of view....But hey..I think I nailed it right n the head....a good job for being painfully tired and having really no clue what I was going to write next
so heres the thing. boob i kinda like you. i kinda like you alot. and i know you did this whole like 10 reasons not to date thing.. but i was think hey why not. maybe we should date. theres always room for a little dyck don't you think? i don't know maybe we could invite some others. van rij, sac. its bound to be a party. um ps. ill see YOU in 5 days. at least i think its 5 it might be 6 and 3/4s. hm quaint.
dyck
You're all on crack. Single people are LOSERS! Stop trying to make yourselves feel better about your unsuccessful, past relationships and just admit it, you're SCREWED up!!! You most likely WON'T recover!! LIVE in reality, people!!!!
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