What am I doing? really...Ok. So I leave for Capernwray in January and it looks like I'm going to be coming back in June. Then what?
I know some of this is going to sound ridiculous, but please bear with me...I think I'm going crazy anyhow.
The truth is that Im petrified. I am SO scared about this whole Australia thing. Actually, what I'm more scared about is coming home... 6 months is a long time and I really don't know where I should go. Where would I even fit in anymore? In 6 months, people change (including me) and people move and make new friends etc....the thing is that everyone will be doing that here without me. So when I come back...where do I go? What do I do next? I mean, there's always camp because thats something I know...but I do need money...so do I go back to Duncan and hang out with my sister and her friends everyday with an occassional visit from the people at camp? At least I wouldn't pay room or board there....Or I could come back to Calgary...and do what? There's no way Im going to go back to the Thirsty Dog. Or second Cup. I could go to school...but where would I live, and with what money??? Another option would be move to Vancouver and live with Nathan and Kailem. I guess that would be okay as long as they never EVER bring girls home. but that poses the same problem. What would I do and what money would I do it with? The worst thing is that none of this is looking to be like a forever kind of option. And to be honest - I want to finally be in one place. Have my friends again and my home. And Rachael & Chantelle, you guys know what else is eating me...GAHHHHHH.
I feel like I'm going to explode - really. I just want to fast forward through all of this to apoint in my life where I'm settled somewhere. I know I'm going to have a BLAST in Aus and I am totally stoked. But that's only 6 months, you know?Who will be here to meet me when I come back?
Where will I be "going back" to?
9 comments:
Trust me, being settled ain't all it's cracked up to be sometimes. I went to Capernwary on Thetis and LOVED IT! Met my hubby there and now we've got two kids. Cherish the time you have for this moment. It's gone all too soon. You'll love the Capes.
A) Please com live with us rachael
B) YES gold coast. my visa is good for a year. So Im going to be going home AFTER. I swear. It will be a cool thing to do for me after schools done.
C) I need to talk to you. I made a sappy cd and probably need to be taken out back and shot...
um, ya. just move to vancouver. i'm already helping Nate look for a place. problem solved.
Hey Barb I was kind of looking forward to moving to the Yukon. I hear there's something like a Gold Rush Going on over there?!
Seriously, though. Coming back will be fine. and not to put a downer on you or anything, but, heck! you've been away in Calgary for the last 4 months!
OK I got an idea. Be excited about coming back and things being different! You'll be different too! And it's like "Wow things are different but it doesn't matter because it's just the natural progression that the lives of the people I love have taken!"
Besides, by then I'm sure Nathan will be married and have 3 kids.
Barrrb. Me and Mikey will always be here for ya if you need us!
kiss kiss!
your lady lover of course :)
check me out at delovelymarie.blogspot.com.
im back in business
ok. so you havnt left yet and already you are stressing? Barb look at my life.. and not that it will give you much comfort. BUT i have left, come back, left, come back, left come back, to a hundred different places, a million times and it's always ok. You have the security of the fam, and good friends all over the place that will watch your back. You're set. You can make your way wherever you want! Thats the best part! Wherever you want to go you can! It's wonderful really. Just think about something youve always wanted to do. AND DO IT! yes. now I will go follow my own advice.
Barb, no worries about life after Cape, guarntee that you will have tons of options after you are done. Ones you would have never consdered unless you spent time at Cape. Just let it play out, use these years to do the fun unpredictable stuff. If I don't see you before Christmas have a good one and let me know what your plans are.
I love you Ange..really.
Ash, I'm here for Christmas. If you wanna you can gimme a call...I only work tonight and that's it for the week. Also my sister comes on like Wdnesday and I really want you to meet her (You too Shan...slash everyone)
Andrew I'd be glad to be a young life leader if I end up back in D-Town...
Rach....TELL HIM.
Brock - if you can find me a rad place in Van...don't be surprised to meet me..BAHAHA
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